There are so many things that we do or don't forgive on either the biggest of scales, or the smallest.
Someone did you wrong and they were really close to your heart, and... they failed you. Maybe it was your parent, friend, family member, God?
Or maybe your significant other took the last damn piece of pie (the one you didn't get any of) and he ate like... the whole pie! (Just kidding, or not…PIE STEALER! Lol).
Or maybe it's something bigger than stealing pie... from them or someone else.
But think about it, we forgive or don't forgive every day!
Realize, when I say forgive, it doesn’t mean to forget but to let go.
That wrongdoing can be turned into a lesson that can help you, or someone else, in the future. When you don't forgive/let go, it really can start to affect you in many, many negative ways. If you harbor what happened, it turns into anger, distrust, disappointment and so on.
Holding on to it is NOT protecting you...
I REPEAT IT IS NOT PROTECTING YOU,
it's HARMING you and your life.
You start to play tug of war with your emotions toward that person who negatively affected you in some way, (maybe even God) and you push them away... possibly pulling them toward you and then pushing them back at different times. It’s playing a crazy game with how you’re feeling about them.
You think, "they’re a good person..." "but they f'ed over me, how could they?!" You are at war in your mind, trying to justify or blame on both sides. You think how it happened, if it could happen again, and so on!
You need to stop here and recognize when and if you have ever felt this way. Well, let me tell you... by holding onto to all these negative feelings, you could be ruining your true chance at joy.
As humans, we make mistakes, we screw up, we only think of only ourselves... and we all have done this! Maybe not exactly the way they did, but you have to remember that you have had your share of screw-ups and the another person probably forgave you. If they didn't, that's something they had to deal with. You might put excuses in your head, "yeah, but I wouldn’t do what the other person did” or, “what I did wasn't that bad."
I call that BULLSHIT!
They are NOT judgment calls for you to make.
Instead, you should be moving forward and letting the past be the past, whether you’ve stuck around with this same person or not. Something you did could be something someone else might not do... think about that.
Now, realize I am speaking from a loving place.
Some call it... tough love… I just call it honest love!
I want you to think about all the bad thoughts you’ve had about this person, whether they are actually true or you made them up when your mind was running rampant. Close your eyes and envision your hand writing them all on a white board. Take all those thoughts, disappointments, failures, and any of your made-up stories and write them down with anger or with pain.
Then give them a long, hard look.
Why? Because you are now going to erase them.
You are going to wipe them away, SLOWLY... wiping them off from one side to another and, as it disappears from the board, it will also disappear from your heart & head. As it disappears, feel your frustration, anger and disappointment floating away into nothingness. Feel that heavy load you have carried around being lifted. Now, you have a new, clean board (or clean slate as they say)!
Forgiving can be one the hardest things you EVER have to do.
Realize it doesn't have to be for them, but it does have to be for YOU!
Don't live in the past! Take hold of the present!