Waking up I heard my name,
"Sarah, Sarah? Love, stay with me... breathe with me."
As I was waking up, I was traveling through a tunnel slowly. It was very blurry at first but each minute it became clearer. Seeing my significant other there in front of me, calling for me to come back, to not leave.
Struggling to breathe, to respond, after a while, I was able to talk again. I couldn't really move, just laying there, only to barely lift my head eventually to witness my hands... they were all seized up. They tingled from my fingers, all the way up my arms.
What was happening, I questioned myself and eventually my significant other. He explained,
"You stopped breathing!
I had to pull you out of the shower,
start giving you air and eventually you took a deep breathe.
You were gone!"
I told him I was okay, comforting him. We waited a little while and he helped me start to stand up. My body so fragile, he helped me to rise up, which only made me start vomiting.
I have always been strong, for myself, my family, for others... I wasn't feeling strong, but my spirit was.
I WAS STILL HERE
and things are going to run AS PLANNED! So weak, I instructed him that my daughter needed to get ready for school. Slowly, I told him to text a friend's mom to pick her up. He ran into action, taking care of things for me as I still gave orders from the bed. I was here on earth and making sure things still went as scheduled! I still wasn't feeling right. My cat on my chest, purring, nudging my face not letting me fall asleep as he ran around, making things happen as I asked. I expressed, "okay, I think we need to go to the hospital now." On the way to the hospital, I was starting to fade, and as an attempt to stop this from happening again, he asked questions but my responses were very delayed. He raced to the hospital, passing cars, running lights, trying to keep me with him still. "Sarah, what day is today?" "What are you going to write about next?" ....
We made it and I was wheeled into the ER, being seen right away. So weak, delayed, everything moving in slow motion.
Normally, I am unstoppable! I am upbeat, outgoing, sprinting around and loving it! Now, unable to hardly talk, move, respond, and feeling helpless to what was happening. Was I dying? Did I have a life-threatening disease? Once I was done with thinking about my outlook, I began thinking... Where was I going in life? What is most important to me? I thought to myself.
Many of us waste so much time or moments with stress, anxiety, what COULD be, but we have to focus on the present, what is and what CAN BE.
Stress and anxiety
ALL stems from FEAR!
Think about this....
We fear that we aren't making the right decision, we aren't doing good enough and feeling like we can't. Even with things that seem small. For example, fear that you have to make dinner for your family and it's already 6pm... AHHH.. They won't have a balanced meal, I'm a bad wife or mother if I don't feed them... AHH, HOLY MACARONI! Lol! P.S. I like macaroni!
Being faced with the fear of dying, I stopped to think... WHY AM I OR OTHERS WASTING OUR VALUABLE TIME ON EARTH stressed about things.
We think more about our stress instead of just taking care of it!
Face the fear, released the stress and live.
Everyday we have decisions/choices, our lives are FILLED with them. OVERWHELMING, right?!
But if we make healthy choices, decisions, and think...
How can this decision help me?
Will I become a better person?
Will this help me achieve my dreams?
Will I be closer to my goals?
If the answer is "no" to these questions, is it really worth it? Probably not. Maybe it will give you comfort for a few minutes, but it will give you regret much longer.
Make the decision that transcend your life. Make the decision to change and evolve into the person you want to be. Our time is limited, use it wisely.
Your dreams are a seed.
A seed can only grow with soil, water, light and nature all coming together. Your dreams are seeds you need to plant, water, giving them sunlight and eventually they will come together to create something beautiful. If you do nothing, it will forever be a seed. A seed with so much potential but only there as a thought, a dream... never growing, never evolving. BUT if you plant it, care for it, give it what it needs... it will succeed and flourish. Your dreams work the same way. You just have to put more into them than just being a thought.
LET THOSE SEEDS THRIVE!
A friend told me, "it wasn't your time Sarah."
It sure wasn't! Thank God, the universe, divine intervention, my significant other it wasn't my time!
Days later, I was thinking, "I almost wasn't here today," as I watched my daughter play soccer, watched the leaves blow in the wind, clouds moving across the sky, as people passed me walking, talking, living life.
I'm still here.
Damn straight, I'm going to enjoy this life while making a difference!
I have MUCH unfinished business. Many people leave with unfinished business, but somehow I was given this chance to keep moving forward with it. If you know me, I HATE WASTE! I make my family reuse things, eat LEFTOVERS (OHHH... THE HORROR! haha) and you better be DAMN SURE I am not going to waste this life with self-doubt, self-sabotage, regret and failure, which can turn into SUCCESS when you choose NOT TO GIVE UP! We ALL have these feelings but YOU HAVE TO MAKE AN ACTIVE CHOICE to let yourself LISTEN to it or BELIEVE it.
To make a change, you have to push these negative thoughts out of your way.
Going back to me being in the hospital and not in my head with all my thoughts... ALL my many, many tests all coming back... good! No brain tumor (thank God)! No seizure... okay! EKG, EEG, head CT, and blood work coming back all good! EXCELLENT!
Okay... now what?!
"Well.." I was told, "this can sometimes happen with things being unexplained. This may or may not happen again and if it does just brace yourself."
So, I am at this point still where I am seeing doctors, specialists to find out what happened and get some answers. Whether I get answers or not (I am continuing to look), I have taken this as an awakening,
to my mission in life to make a difference helping others achieve the life they want to live through my life coaching and healthy lifestyle coaching services.
"Everything happens for a reason." Sometimes we have to search our souls when we ask yourself,
FIND OUT! WHY YOU?? There is a reason and if you can't find one... MAKE ONE! You are meant to do something, something in life that is bigger than you. If someone you loved, lost their life... save someone else's. If you were done wrong, do right! You have something to offer the world and the people in it and if you continue questioning "why me" forever it will be for NOTHING, BUT if you do something... YOU WILL HEAL, YOU WILL GROW AND YOU WILL HELP OTHERS!
If you think... I'm too old, I'm too busy... I SWEAR, I will come through this screen right now and shake you!! Don't make me do that! Haha!
If you EVER need help with finding your purpose, pursing it, becoming joyful in your life... it's time you take the leap into something different. Something worthwhile that can help you achieve your true potential. It ALL STARTS WITH YOU!
LIVE, BE FREE, FLOURISH AND GROW!
If you're needing or want help, schedule a FREE Strategy Session to get moving towards your purpose!