I know your struggles.
I know your fears.
I know your sorrows.
I've been there. Stay strong in your dreams, stay strong for your children, stay strong FOR YOURSELF! Know you're not alone.
**There is a FREE opportunity for the SINGLE MOMMAS out there! Read until the end and learn how you can truly grow and live the life you want and deserve for you and your child!
Know there is more out there for YOU and YOUR children.
You BOTH will:
As long as you keep:
I have had a few people try to look down on me for being driven, for my sacrifice. I was busting my ass to provide for my child, for myself and then having someone tell me not to. I was stunned by some of these comments and quite a bit annoyed, but then I realized they had no idea what I had gone through, what I was going through, and what was on the line. It was out of ignorance that they made this statement. I do not say this in a bad way whatsoever. I say it only in a factual way. They didn't realize the blood, sweat, tears, worries, loss of sleep, anxiety, non-existence of finances or a dream for better that came along with being a single mom.
Blood - doing everything by yourself, maybe even giving blood at points literally to make some sort of ends meet.
Sweat - working overtime every week to rush to pick your child up before they close and your child being the last one usually to get picked up because "mommy had to work late again." Then going home cooking dinner, sometimes with food bank donations, extra food from friends/family, then staying up late studying for hours on end to just wake up at 4:30 a.m. just to do it all over again.
Loss of sleep - thinking if your child was growing up OK from everything that you are trying to do for both of you. Are you showing them the strength they need to succeed? Are you going to be able to buy them school clothes? How do you plan to pay for their lunches or sports?
Non-existent finances - being behind every month on bills, pawning jewelry to pay for your child's lunches for the week, trying to explain to your child that you aren't poor; things are just "tight this month"... but deep down knowing... it's more than that, BUT THAT IT WON'T ALWAYS BE.
Here are 7 things to embrace as a single momma:
1. You are NOT A VICTIM
You are a WARRIOR! You have gotten yourself where you are right now, BUT you are going to get YOURSELF OUT! Blame no one. Hate no one (INCLUDING YOURSELF). Combat all those feelings with love and lessons.
YOU WILL GROW, YOU WILL LEARN, YOU WILL OVERCOME... just embrace what will be!
2. Embrace your struggles, Momma.
You won't always be there. Just keep going after your dreams and the life you want for them and you. It won't be easy. It won't be glamorous. It will be degrading at times, BUT, you will only become stronger from it. Do NOT let it defeat you; let it fuel you.
Scrapping food from their leftover plate into your mouth, having them be fed first making sure their belly is fueled, full and warm. While your belly is fueled on determination and purpose. Determination and purpose for them to be safe, healthy, happy, and for you... for you to provide that for them. Things they should have, but they don't. BUT you work early in the mornings and late at night on your hustle (school, working, planning) to be able to provide for that little person you brought into the world. Stopping at nothing to achieve, for them, and what should be.
3. Filter the negative and keep the positive.
Do you know what you're doing is right? Do you know that you're doing your best? Do you know that child comes first BEFORE ALL ELSE?
Some don't know what they are saying, others are seeing a different perspective. You decide what words/advice you keep. Sometimes people pass judgement and aren't really able to see what is best for you, while others are able to see things you can't and are coming from a loving place. Filter out the negative judgement from the positive advice. You are fighting a battle they might not know anything about and if you can't grow from the advice they give you... just let it go! You have other things to focus on!
Let them love you, BUT for those that are passing judgement, pay no mind!
4. DO NOT LET IT CONSUME YOU!
Your drive CAN become an obsession, of course, and it is only instinct kicking in - this is where it can get VERY tricky.
That will be an instinct you fight for a while, even after you are in a better place. REMEMBER to enjoy those children. You are their mom, their dad (in some cases), the breadwinner, the cuddler, the affection giver, the protector. YOU HAVE A LOT OF ROLES! Just make sure to give as MANY of those loving momma cuddles as you can - and take in the moments !
Balance is going to be key for you, especially during those times when you're feeling overwhelmed, trying to combat everything. Know that YOU ARE DOING THE BEST YOU CAN WITH WHAT YOU HAVE! You are such a warrior and a beautiful soul all at once. What an amazing balance to attempt and to do!
5. Stop at NOTHING, with your principles intact!
You might not have much, momma, but you have your principles, your integrity, your ethics, your life motto. If you don't have ANYTHING... YOU HAVE THIS! DON'T LET ANYTHING TAKE THAT FROM YOU. You are NOT and WILL NEVER BE that desperate.
Now, I don't mean not taking any help, borrowing a couple dollars from your child's piggy bank to just replace it again. I mean to not steal, cheat, lie or sell your soul to the devil. You are better than that. It might be the easy path at that moment, but it's not a fulfilling and beneifcial path you are wanting to go down. Think... how would you want your child to overcome? To succeed? SHOW THEM the right way (not the easy path that makes you despise yourself).
If you have gone down a path you're not proud of... BOUNCE BACK NOW WITHOUT BEATING YOURSELF UP! Beating yourself up will do you NO good, only give you a better chance to go back to that!
I AM A WARRIOR
I AM NOT PROUD OF EVERYTHING I'VE DONE
BUT I'M PROUD OF WHO I AM,
WHERE I'VE COME FROM,
WHERE I'M GOING,
WHAT I CAN ACHIEVE
AND WHAT I WILL!
7. Don't forget about yourself
It is SOOO easy to forget about yourself in all the responsibilities and all the struggles. You get so focused in your destination that you forget about the journey. Do things for yourself, INVEST in yourself. You invest everything you have in your child and everything else, that you don't stop to give yourself a break. Stop, take care of you!
If thinking to yourself right now... "Ummm, no I don't have time to take care of myself, my physical and emotional health." OK, think about it this way.
FIRST, if you aren't willing to take care of yourself... WHO WILL??
SECOND, YOU have to take care of yourself to be the best mom you can for that being! If you are leaving yourself behind, then YOU ARE leaving them behind as well. You are not truly giving them the mom you are meant to be when you are stressed, tired... lost. FIND YOURSELF again and, REGARDLESS of ANYTHING else, you and your family will be happier with each other and as your own individuals.
You are awesome. You are doing great! KEEP IT UP and don't just go through it, GROW through it all!
If you find yourself struggling emotionally and physically with all you have... I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND and I CAN HELP! As an Inspirational Life Coach and Healthy Lifestyle Coach, I work with others who are feeling stuck, unhappy, lost and not living the life they want. We can work together to unlock your TRUE potential and go after your dreams! I can help you get unstuck, get happy, and GO FOR YOUR DREAMS!
Let's work together, face head-on what is holding you back, and change it!
Let's talk FREE:
Like I said before, I know how hard it is! One thing that is SO difficult for single mommas is investing in yourself! So, I am offering for a LIMITED TIME only, for ONE single mom to get 4 Life Coaching Sessions FOR FREE! To apply for this, please click here and fill out the form to be the chosen momma to get these sessions for free (click form for details). To everyone else that applies, I am NOT leaving you out!! I am offering YOU 2 Life Coaching Sessions for 50% off!! Also, know that the 1st Strategy Session you schedule is FREE for everyone! These savings are HUGE! Then from there, if times are tight... we will work together to see how we can best help you in your situation!